LOOK OUT CALIFORNIA ...

... not only are you the land of the fruits, the flakes, and the nuts; not only are you where former actors find renewed fulfillment in politics; but you are the state which may be eaten by the Pacific Ocean.

No, the San Andreas fault is not going to sever the Bear State from its neighbors so that it drops into the deep! However, a monster out of the deep is going to get you ... one bite at a time.

We get this from the BBC no less ...

A gross creature which gobbles up a fish's tongue and then replaces it with its own body has been found in Britain for the first time.

So how does California figure into this end of the world creature? The illustrious paper of record in Britannia tells us ...

The bugs are usually found off the coast of California, so it's possible the fish was imported to the UK.

I gather some night on a lonely San Francisco pier, a lowly immigrant fisherman will drop in one too many live bait, and the tongue-eating, sea-dwelling lice will say in unison, "Enough is enough!"

Slowly, sushi eaters all over the City by the Bay will discover some of their tongue missing; all too soon they discover it's all gone and a lousy louse has not only taken its place but has taken control of the host.

Like Zombies they will move around the city, French kissing any and all, secretly laying their young on the upper palate of their victims until Frisco has been cleansed of its live bait fishermen.

Then? THEN? THEN????

Well, then it's off to Half Moon Bay, Stockton, Sacramento, Santa Cruz, Moss Landing, and all ports south until they reach Mission Bay in San Diego. Don't go near the water, my momma said.

Anyone who has been to a California beach will immediately recognize what appears to be Emerita analoga, the notorious California Sand Crab. Me thinks someone is pulling on BBC's foot, not their tongue. What say you?