CULTS: Look for this plug on Ebay!

The title on the celebrity news flash tells it all ...

TOM & KATIE'S DELIVERY NIGHTMARE!

When Tom Cruise visited his local orthodontist's office recently, it wasn't to talk about his children's teeth. It was to craft a personalized pacifier - for fiance Katie Holmes! "In keeping with a Scientology silent birth, Tom is prepared to do whatever it takes to muffle Katie's moans and groans during the delivery," says a source close to Holmes. "He commissioned an adult-sized 'binky' for her to clench between her teeth, hoping that it'll squelch her screams."

The one-of-a-kind pacifier is made of rubber, and is molded to the shape of Katie's teeth. The mom-to-be herself, though, may prove harder to mold: As Tom goes further and further to ensure that the birth fits squarely within the rules of his church, Katie is showing serious signs of wear. [CRIB emphasis]

Do you suppose these revelations will help recruitment programs at the "Celebrity Center in Hollywood." Oh, the silliness of all of this ...

Because the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men.

1 Corinthians 1:25

For weeks, Star reporter Brannon Castleberry has watched Katie, 27, spend day after day - up to eight hours at a stretch! - at the Scientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood, often with Tom, 43, by her side.

Now, Star has learned what's going on behind those closed doors: "If they're going to the center together regularly, it means that she is definitely resistant to something," a Scientology expert who prefers to remain unnamed tells Star. "It wouldn't surprise me if Katie secretly wanted out of Scientology, out of her relationship with Tom, or both." The source says that at the center, "they are probably putting tremendous pressure on Katie to find out if she has any second thoughts about Scientology." [CRIB emphasis]

Ain't gossip great? It really helps take your mind off of the problems of this world ...

Genocide in Darfur

Starvation in Africa

GWOT

Nukes in the hands of madmen

Isolationism

Anti-Americanism

Islamic fanatics

Aussie-Indo relations

Pornography

Child molesters

Debauchery and perversion

Ecclesiastical, political, social, and educational decay

Unsecured borders and illegal immigration

How do the Scientologists do it? They've dealt with all of this and have time for their members' "moans and groans." Perhaps they'll find the time to take care of creation?

For we know that the whole creation groans and suffers the pains of childbirth together until now. And not only this, but also we ourselves, having the first fruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, waiting eagerly for our adoption as sons, the redemption of our body.

Romans 8:22-23

I need help! God is keeping me up all night what with all of this noise from the labor and travail of His creation.

UPDATE: Free Republic is reporting Cruise is in denial!

TAGS: Childbirth, Creation, Cults, Entertainment, Fakery,
Humor, Katie Holmes, L. Ron Hubbard, Marriage,
Religion, Scientology, Tom Cruise