Thursday, October 30, 2008

PALIN: Alaskan's angry politics brings death to lover of Huff Post writer!

Carol Anne Burger || "roommate - and former partner"

The Huffington Post's OffTheBus
reports it is "deeply saddened" that Sarah Palin's estrogenic intolerance and truth-baiting politics are responsible for the death of one of their writers.
The circumstances of [Carol Anne Burger's] death remain unclear; police believe she may have taken her own life after learning that her roommate - and former partner - had been found dead. [OTB]
Arriana suggested Carol had reached her wits end following Sarah Palin's recent campaign rallies in Florida ... Carol had said, "I don't know a single person who invited her to come to Florida; what right has she to come without an invitation?"

Huffington was unavailable for comment, but, in a CRIB exclusive, an unnamed source, of unknown gender, close to the unidentified laptop said "Carol Anne" was distraught over Palin's authentic feminism and charismatic persona.

She had been overheard lamenting her four years of training under the Dean of Women's Studies at her alma mater: "four years with that nag just to learn real women live in Alaska?"

Another unnamed CRIB source, with access to discarded HuffPost materials left unattended in round files after 10 PM, says it was common knowledge in the paneled hallways of HPHQ that Ms. Burger's significant other had admitted to Carol that "Todd is a hottie."
Their situation really was a bad one, friends said, but for financial reasons Burger and Kalish had continued to share the house they'd bought together in 2000.

Burger, who on Oct. 7 was tapped to cover the election for the Web site, The Huffington Post, still sometimes felt sad and isolated. Kalish, whom Burger had married in Massachusetts in 2005, had met another woman.
Some have suggested the "other woman" had the user name of "SP from Wallisa" ... I think they need to get a life.

The Palm Beach Post said ...
Burger killed her former lover by stabbing her 222 times with a Phillips-head screwdriver and then took pains to hide her crime, police said Wednesday.
An inside source at the Boynton Beach Bureau of Investigation said, "This is clearly the result of PDS (Palin Derangement Syndrome) and rage brought on by excessive importation of Alaska's "Deadliest Catch. As you must know, Floridians have been Maine lobster and crab consumers for centuries."

Rumors have a life size wall poster of Sarah Palin with a Phillips-head screwdriver stuck in the left eye in Burger's home office (this has not been confirmed by our on the scene CRIB associate).
Jessica Kalish, who shared a house with Burger despite breaking up with her more than a year ago, was found last Thursday stuffed in the backseat of her gun-metal BMW sedan, abandoned behind a medical office at 2300 S. Congress Avenue.

Her blood was splashed around the rear end and undercarriage of the car, as if her killer had tried to load her into the trunk. The driver-side window was shattered.

Examining the body, detectives absorbed what had been done to her. Stab wounds were clustered around the back of her head and stitched across her back and arms and face. Most were between an inch and an inch-and-a-half deep. A blow to Kalish's neck probably killed her, investigators determined.
Rush Limbaugh said in a phone interview early this morning, "McCain could lose Florida if he doesn't corral the diva."

Rush is considering moving back to NYC if the wave of Palin rage doesn't subside in Southern Florida. "Property values in my really, really, really wealthy-for-now subdivision," Rush said, "have really tanked since John introduced Palin."

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